More Tennis Funny Sporting Quotes

Here some funny sporting quotes from the sport of tennis. For the best ones, see my Top 10 Favorite Funny Tennis Quotes.

... and when Chrissie is playing well I always feel that she is playing well - Anne Jones

And here's Zivojinovic, six foot six inches tall and fourteen pounds ten ounces - Dan Maskell

Ann's got to take her nerve by the horns - Virgina Wade

Billie Jean King, with the look on her face that says she can't believe it ... because she never believes it, and yet, somehow, I think she does - Maz Robertson

Chip Hooper is such a big man that it is sometimes difficult to see where he is on the court - Mark Cox

Chris Lloyd came out of the dressing room like a pistol - Virginia Wade

Diane - keeping her head beautifully on her shoulders - Ann Jones

He's got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair - Peter Jones

If she gets the jitters now, then she isn't the great champion that she is - Max Robertson

It's quite clear that Virginia Wade is thriving on the pressure now that the pressure on her to do well is off - Harry Carpenter

Lendl has remained throughout as calm as the proverbial iceberg - Dan Maskell

Lloyd did what he achieved with that shot - Jack Bannister

Martina, she's got several layers of steel out there like a cat with nine lives - Viginia Wade

McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands - Fred Perry

She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist - BBC 2

Strangely enough, Kathy Jordan is getting to the net first, which she always does - Fred Perry

Strawberries, cream and champers flowed like hot cakes - Radio 2

That shot he's got to obliterate from his mind a little bit - Mark Cox

The Gullikson twins here. An interesting pair, both from Wisconsin - Dan Maskell

These ball boys are marvellous. You don't even notice them. There's a left handed one over there. I noticed him earlier - Max Robertson

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how god I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. - Mitch Hedberg

This is the third week the fish seem to be getting away from British tennis players - Gerald Williams

Those two volleys, really could be the story of this match summed up at the end of it - Barry Davies.

Good shot, bad luck, and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified. - Virginia Graham

We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining - Harry Carpenter

When I play, I feel like in a theatre, why should I look ugly then, because I'm a tennis-player? - Anna Kournikova.

Ladies, here's a hint. If you're up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed. - Billie Jean King

The primary conception of tennis is to get the ball over the net and at the same time to keep it within bounds of the court; failing this, within the borders of the neighborhood. - Elliot Chaze

When Martina is tense it helps her relax - Dan Maskell

Why has slamming a ball with a racket become so obsessive a pleasure for so many of us? It seems clear to me that a primary attraction of the sport is the opportunity it gives to release aggression physically without being arrested for felonious assault. - Nat Hentoff

The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed. - Martina Navratilova

You can almost hear the silence as they battle it out - Dan Maskell

You don't think people would go on about my looks if I was No. 500 in the world instead of No.12, do you? Anyway, as I keep telling everyone, you can't blame me for looking like this on purpose. - Anna Kournikova

Zivojinovic seems to be able to pull the big bullet out of the top drawer - Mike Ingham

Tennis: a racket sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch. - Author Unknown

In tennis the addict moves about a hard rectangle and seeks to ambush a fuzzy ball with a modified snow-shoe. - Elliot Chaze

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up. - Jimmy Connors

But that won't give me a free hand to hold the beer. - Billy Carter, While being taught a two-handed backhand shot.

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in. - Robin Williams

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