More Tennis Funny Sporting Quotes

Here some funny sporting quotes from the sport of tennis. For the best ones, see my Top-10 Favorite Funny Tennis Quotes.

... and when Chrissie is playing well I always feel that she is playing well - Anne Jones

And here's Zivojinovic, six foot six inches tall and fourteen pounds ten ounces - Dan Maskell

Ann's got to take her nerve by the horns - Virgina Wade

Billie Jean King, with the look on her face that says she can't believe it ... because she never believes it, and yet, somehow, I think she does - Maz Robertson

Chip Hooper is such a big man that it is sometimes difficult to see where he is on the court - Mark Cox

Chris Lloyd came out of the dressing room like a pistol - Virginia Wade

Diane - keeping her head beautifully on her shoulders - Ann Jones

He's got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair - Peter Jones

If she gets the jitters now, then she isn't the great champion that she is - Max Robertson

It's quite clear that Virginia Wade is thriving on the pressure now that the pressure on her to do well is off - Harry Carpenter

Lendl has remained throughout as calm as the proverbial iceberg - Dan Maskell

Lloyd did what he achieved with that shot - Jack Bannister

Martina, she's got several layers of steel out there like a cat with nine lives - Viginia Wade

McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands - Fred Perry

She comes from a tennis playing family. Her father's a dentist - BBC 2

Strangely enough, Kathy Jordan is getting to the net first, which she always does - Fred Perry

Strawberries, cream and champers flowed like hot cakes - Radio 2

That shot he's got to obliterate from his mind a little bit - Mark Cox

The Gullikson twins here. An interesting pair, both from Wisconsin - Dan Maskell

These ball boys are marvellous. You don't even notice them. There's a left handed one over there. I noticed him earlier - Max Robertson

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how god I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. - Mitch Hedberg

This is the third week the fish seem to be getting away from British tennis players - Gerald Williams

Those two volleys, really could be the story of this match summed up at the end of it - Barry Davies.

Good shot, bad luck, and hell are the five basic words to be used in a game of tennis, though these, of course, can be slightly amplified. - Virginia Graham

We haven't had any more rain since it stopped raining - Harry Carpenter

When I play, I feel like in a theatre, why should I look ugly then, because I'm a tennis-player? - Anna Kournikova.

Ladies, here's a hint. If you're up against a girl with big boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys. That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed. - Billie Jean King

The primary conception of tennis is to get the ball over the net and at the same time to keep it within bounds of the court; failing this, within the borders of the neighborhood. - Elliot Chaze

When Martina is tense it helps her relax - Dan Maskell

Why has slamming a ball with a racket become so obsessive a pleasure for so many of us? It seems clear to me that a primary attraction of the sport is the opportunity it gives to release aggression physically without being arrested for felonious assault. - Nat Hentoff

The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed. - Martina Navratilova

You can almost hear the silence as they battle it out - Dan Maskell

You don't think people would go on about my looks if I was No. 500 in the world instead of No.12, do you? Anyway, as I keep telling everyone, you can't blame me for looking like this on purpose. - Anna Kournikova

Zivojinovic seems to be able to pull the big bullet out of the top drawer - Mike Ingham

Tennis: a racket sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch. - Author Unknown

In tennis the addict moves about a hard rectangle and seeks to ambush a fuzzy ball with a modified snow-shoe. - Elliot Chaze

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up. - Jimmy Connors

But that won't give me a free hand to hold the beer. - Billy Carter, While being taught a two-handed backhand shot.

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in. - Robin Williams

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