Olympic Games Funny Quotes

Here is my top list of favorite funny sporting quotes related to the Olympic Games:

"Put a bet on the Paralympics the other day; try telling the bookies that they're all winners." - Ricky Gervais (comedian)
"I was not talented enough to run and smile at the same time" - Emil Zatopek (champion Czechoslovakian distance runner, when asked about unusual facial expression when running)
"Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now." - Charles Barkley (American basket ball player)
"Here's a good trick: Get a job as a judge at the Olympics. Then, if some guy sets a world record, pretend that you didn't see it and go, "Okay, is everybody ready to start now?"."
- Jack Handy (cast member of Saturday Night Live)
"Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you. That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance." - Eddie Izzard (British stand-up Comedian)
"At the Olympics in China, every color was represented ... and that was just the drinking water."
- Evan Sayet
"Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver. Finishing second in politics gets you oblivion." - Richard M. Nixon (US politician)
"In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time." - Will Rogers (American entertainer)

Any comments, suggestions, or corrections? Please let us know.

Related Pages