Ice Hockey Funny Sporting Quotes

Here is my top 10 list of favorite funny sporting quotes from the sport of Ice Hockey. The first and my favorite is one of the most quoted in hockey.

  1. I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out. Rodney Dangerfield
  2. "Goaltending is a normal job, sure. How would you like it in your job if every time you made a small mistake, a red light went on over your desk and 15,000 people stood up and yelled at you?" Jacques Plante
  3. "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes." Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker
  4. By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.  Steve Rushin
  5. A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.  Jimmy Cannon
  6. ”The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem.” Harry Sinden
  7. ”The three important elements of hockey are: forecheck, backcheck and paycheck.” Gil Perreault
  8. Half the game is mental; the other half is being mental. Jim McKenny
  9. "The only difference between this and Custer's last stand was Custer didn't have to look at the tape afterwards". Terry Crisp, the ex-coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning. This quote was after a 10-0 loss to the Calgary Flames.
  10. A fast body-contact game played by men with clubs in their hands and knives laced to their feet.
    Paul Gallico's description of ice hockey.

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